How do you know that you’re going through a heartbreak? Do you wake up in the middle of the night sobbing uncontrollably? Tear up at the thought of the person you really cared about? Or attempt to completely distract yourself by working out and writing? In my case… it seems to be all of the above. I never thought I’d be someone who would say I felt anything for someone and I totally didn’t expect to feel the way that I do now. It’s almost as if you’re mourning the death of someone who was really close to you. Except, they’re still alive.
But in a way a break up is a death. It’s the end of something. The end of life as you know it. The end of what you were use to. And then you have to find your footing and recover from the pain of losing someone. It’s frustrating, overwhelming and the thoughts of the person always seem to creep up in your mind. It’s like there’s a tiny spot reserved in your head and your heart for all the moments you shared together. And if you’re anything like me, although there were hard times… for the most part you look at the situation with rose-colored glasses.
And that’s the sad thing about a break up. Because you know there’s a reason why it’s over. There’s a reason you had to delete a number, or completely cut the person out of your life. But when you look back on the situation, all you can think about are the good times. Which is insane but it makes you question everything. You wish you could randomly call them up and talk or walk around the city with them one last time. But you can’t because it’s over.
Life as you know it is about to change in crazy, difficult and hopefully amazing ways. But it’s scary because it’s all so uncertain. Who knows what will happen in the next hour, day, months or years from now. It could be that you run into the person again and give things another shot or you never see them again. But the one thing that will always remain are the feelings that you had for the person and the memories. Those can’t be taken away. So no matter how hard it is to deal with the pain and how frustrating it is to deal with the tears, I’ll gladly take my moments of viewing things with rose-colored glasses. Because despite everything, I’ll still remember the good times, even if I know it’s the end.