There are people who wear their hearts on their sleeves, and there are others who keep their feelings hidden. I’m all for proceeding with caution when you first meet someone but at what point does it go from protecting yourself to having a wall up? Of course no one wants to get hurt. The thought of putting your heart on the line and telling someone you like them can be terrifying. But there has to be a point where you let your guard down… at least a little bit.

I’m obsessed with Thought Catalog, and their article on dating trends really got me to start thinking. Why is it that there are people who find it necessary to prove they care less about you than you do about them? It’s very mind boggling. But I have a confession to make: I use to be one of those people. Whenever I would meet a guy I really liked I would have a huge wall up. It didn’t matter how sweet they were or how much they told me they were interested. They basically didn’t stand a chance with me. I’ve realized though that in the end it only hurts yourself.

So it drives me crazy when my friends and I encounter someone who has a huge wall up around their heart. It’s a situation that hurts everyone who is involved. If you have a defense mechanism in place for everyone, how will you know when a good person is worth letting your guard down for? There has to be some sort of filter. A happy medium has to exist because wearing your heart on your sleeve can lead to it being bruised, but having it under lock and key can lead to damage as well. I always find it fascinating that when you aren’t completely showing interest in someone they’re willing to put in effort with you. But once they know you like them it’s like they’re no longer interested.

It’s like a game of cat and mouse. And games that involve the heart will only end up hurting everyone if you aren’t clear about what you want. For people like me who are trying to work on bringing down their wall, and for those who have a huge one up… it seems like something has to change. Because in the end, the only person it’s going to screw over is you. People who express themselves and are willing to talk about what they want and feel always bounce back. But the people who act like they don’t care are just really scared of letting someone in.