How Do You Cope?

Getting over someone is almost like doing mental gymnastics. There are a lot of hurdles and hoops to jump through just to feel like you’ll eventually be okay. It’s like you have to convince yourself that things will get better. You have to tell yourself that all the tears, pain and lack of sleep will subside. It seems like it involves a lot of talking yourself out of contacting the person, and talking yourself into the reasons why they are no longer worth a second of your time.

It’s interesting how many different ways people can approach the same situation. There are people who move on by going on dates, or getting really drunk, there are those who go shopping to get the person off their mind, and the list goes on and on. And I honestly don’t think there’s one right way to get over someone.

For some people crying it out and watching sappy movies works and for others it makes more sense to start seeing other people. I think it’s all about what works for you.

I certainly haven’t figured out the right method for myself yet. I’ve been all over the map. From going on an (awful) date, to watching really sappy movies… I haven’t quite figured it out yet. I even found a station on Pandora called Love Stinks! I’m clearly getting ready for Valentine’s Day. But figuring out how to move on is tough. The only thing that seems to make it a little easier is knowing that this is the hardest part of it.

Once you get past the early stages… it gets better… Right? Well that’s what I hear. I have no idea honestly. The only thing that I know for sure for myself at least is that it’s better to confront the feelings rather than to avoid them. I have a tendency to ignore what hurts and move past it as quickly as possible but in this situation it’s made it harder. It’s like ignoring a sprained ankle. At first it hurts a little and maybe it should be taken care of. But if you ignore it, it can hurt so much that it will require even more attention than it originally needed.

Last week, I did EVERYTHING in my power to ignore what I was feeling. Anytime a thought came up, I’d distract myself with something and the thought came back ten times harder. I continued to ignore them until… I got really sick and couldn’t go to work because of a fever.

So instead of being able to distract myself, I was stuck on the couch all week with my stupid feelings. And I have to say… feelings suck. But, I realized that there can be a correlation between what you’re ignoring in your life and your health. While I was sick I also tried to ignore the fact that I didn’t feel well by going to work, but that only made things worse. It’s almost like it needed to hit me in the face all at once so I could pay attention to the problems. But I guess that’s how I cope… I ignore.

And while I know that I shouldn’t ignore what’s going on, I haven’t quite figured out what I should be doing. Who seriously wants to sit with feelings of sadness? I’d much rather work out. But I guess it’s all just a learning process. There isn’t a magical way to fast forward through the pain. But I’m sure as time goes on, it slowly becomes more manageable.

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