Another piece coming your way in the series on Black Mental Health! Check out Black Mental Health- Part 1 if you haven’t already 💕

Being a “strong Black woman” is a phrase that gets thrown around so much, it’s almost as if it’s ingrained in you.

Strong Black woman often feels like it’s used as an excuse to give us additional pain. As if we are subhuman, or meant to serve others.

Growing up, the Black women around me would move through pain with a smile.

They would give, give and give even if they were exhausted. Definitely pouring from an empty cup and filling it for everyone but themselves. They were martyrs, and it was clear that translated everywhere: at work, home, life, all around.

They would give their all to everyone throughout the day, and get to the end of their day drained. Wiped. With nothing left for themselves.

But you wouldn’t be able to tell they were tired unless they were honest and told you. They would always look like they had it together out in the world, but it was clear that they were carrying the weight of everyone else on their back.

When you’re used to having to be everything for everyone else, where does that leave you?

It leaves you often forgotten.

It leaves you with receiving empty words, being given unrealistic expectations, all because you’re expected to always figure it out.

In a world where Black women are often forced to nurture others without being given a chance to nurture themselves, it leaves you feeling like you aren’t seen.

When you try to take care of yourself and get negative reactions for placing boundaries, how do you set them?

I say, you set the boundaries and take care of yourself anyway, because you matter.

After spending a large chunk of my life with the expectation that I had to have the weight of everything on me, I’ve realized it’s so important to create a self care routine and prioritize yourself, because no one will take care of us the way we take care of others.