Do you struggle with saying no? Does it make you uncomfortable to let someone down? You’re not alone!
Saying “yes” used to be so instinctual for me, that I would get overwhelmed by the thought of disappointing someone.
“What if they’re upset with me?” “What if they stop talking to me?”
And hey… sometimes they will be upset with you and stop talking to you! But if that’s the case, they’re showing you who they are.
First off, let’s be clear here: You can’t make EVERYONE happy. There will always be someone who wishes you did or said things differently.
If you’re spending the bulk of your time trying to please others, there’s an empty feeling that comes with it.
When you dilute yourself to fit into the mold of someone else, there’s a bit of your own luster that you lose. Because you’re downplaying who you are.
So how do you make saying no easy? Check out the tips below and ask yourself some questions before you commit to a responsibility you don’t want.
How do you feel about the request?
- Be real with me here, do you even want to do this thing you’re being asked to do? Because if you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to! If it isn’t a hell yes, if it isn’t something that you naturally want to do, you can decline.
- Do you have the time to do this thing? If you’re busy AF, you’re allowed to say you don’t have time to commit to the request.
- Is there something else that you need to prioritize more? Please know that your time is valuable, especially your downtime. Is there some care for yourself that you need to take care of? Do you have to move something that you enjoy for this request? You can say you’re unavailable without going into details about what you’re prioritizing.
Is there another resource that is available?
- If there’s another tool you can point them to that doesn’t take away from your time, suggest it instead of taking on the additional task.
- Is there another person who is more equipped for the request? Do you know who they can be pointed to for help?
Give yourself space to make a decision
- Are you unsure of how you feel? Ask if you can get back to them! Ain’t no shame in asking for more time!
- Take the pressure off of having to say yes on the spot. Rather than being impulsive, ask if you can check in with them later in the week.
Sometimes it can feel like we’re in a pressure cooker, rushing around and trying to do everything ASAP.
But here’s the thing, it’s not your job to check everything off of the list at all times.
It’s definitely not your job to be a martyr. And it isn’t your responsibility to put yourself on the backburner.
Does struggling with saying no resonate with you?
I’m working on an offering at SLD Wellness coming soon that I can’t wait to share all about creating boundaries.
IF YOU ARE:
- A perfectionist eager to let go and trust themselves
- A people pleaser ready to prioritize self-care
Book one of the remaining spots for a Mindset Clarity Call with me that includes a FREE sound bowl meditation and tarot card pull to reveal your goals and patterns.